# Listening # is an ART !!

February 11, 2019


It is said that we should listen like a Dog,yes like a Dog !!! I will try to make you understand the above statement and when i conclude, I believe and hope that I was convincing enough with my logic.
With my 21 years experience of training people from all walks of life, I can with utter conviction,mention here that the first and foremost aspect of diplomacy / communication is agreeing to disagree.This leads us into agreement[positive] and not into argument[negative]. Even if the other person may be mentioning a totally wrong / illogical thing, we should never argue with the person.Say if a person states that “Dawood Ibrahim is a good man”, we should agree with him/her even if we know for sure that Dawood Ibrahim is a wanted criminal/fugitive by International Police. On doing this,we would see, much to our amusement, that the other person feels deflated/dejected because he was expecting us to contradict him and thereby initiating an argument.
To further elaborate on this technique,I would quote the method of Gandhigiri where we should be receptive through our ears and not retaliate verbally / otherwise on the slightest provocation.In our country especially, since that most of my of work experience has been within India,i have come to observe a very saddening truth that as a country we are more fond of arguments than agreements and we do not listen from our ears. Now to come to think of it that then, from where do we Indians listen ? The answer to this unfortunately is that we as a nation mostly listen with our mind[own prejudice],our mouth [between interruptions], and our nose [ego/false pride].
For example, if a person of Pakistani origin comes to India and during a discourse if he happens to even vaguely mention about the corruption and unemployment scenario prevalent in India,the entire nation of 1.3 billion plus would take acute offence.Every atom of our bodies would be retorting back that -“Preacher,heal thyself. How dare you comment on anything about India ? You should introspect that since Pakistan being a failed state is a world known fact,you have absolutely no moral right to counsel India on how to handle it’s internal affairs.” This example clearly demonstrates that we have listened from our nose [ego/false pride] and not from our ears. Although we know that surely we do have a severe problem of corruption and unemployment,but we are not ready to lower our guard and accept the stark reality / facts from a person of  Pakistani origin.
Thus,I would like to reiterate that the most important pillar of communication that we teach and learn in training is the art of listening to ourselves and to others from our ears and not from your mind / mouth.    

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