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Human Misery : Causes and Remedy…

 

Why do we suffer in this life is the most pertinent question which we all have been seeking since ages.While humans make themselves suffer in many ways,they are not born to endure agony or be miserable. We have come into this life to be able to enjoy the journey of self-realization by being happy,content and motivated.There are many ways & means to invite misery ;one of them being our tendency of expecting and second is lack of self awareness.I would here like to share a very small incident to make you all understand as to what are the causes and the way out of our miseries.I hope that the below incident would help you understand the appropriate approach to be undertaken in our life to avoid stress,anxiety and misery.
 
Once,there was an old man-a senior citizen who was travelling by train.During the journey,it so happened that he lost his wallet and was frantically searching for it among his fellow-travelers. A ticket-checker,recently appointed in his early twenties, who was in the nearby cabin,was watching the entire commotion with amusement.After few minutes of watching, he joined in with the old man in his search for the wallet. After a while,the ticket-checker finally found the wallet where it had fallen ; picking it up,he asked the old man to share few things like the make or the contents of the wallet to validate his claim on the wallet. This made the old man perplexed due to his advancing age,he said that the only thing that he could remember was that, his wallet contained a small picture of Lord Krishna. The ticket-checker now , just for the sake of killing time during the travel started to probe more,saying that the small picture of Lord Krishna cannot be the basis of the old man’s claim on the wallet,as it was very common for people to keep such pictures of Gods & Goddesses in their wallets. The ticket-checker prodded the old man further to share more specific details for claiming the wallet but the old man expressed his forgetfulness that he could not remember any other details about his wallet. The ticket-checker observed that while mentioning the fact of the presence of the small picture of Lord Krishna in his wallet, the old man’s eyes had got swelled up with tears. The amusement of the ticket-checker now turned into curiousness and he took the old man aside to know the reason.The old man said that there was a long story behind his keeping the picture of Lord Krishna in his wallet and the ticket-checker requested the old man to share the entire episode.
 
The old man mentioned that the said wallet was a birthday present from his parents during his childhood years.Initially, i had kept a photo of my father & mother,then when i reached teenage years,i started keeping my own photo as i was absolutely smitten by my own handsome self. Few years later,i fell madly in love with a beautiful girl and started keeping her picture in my wallet. As luck would have it,i was fortunate to get married to that very girl on reaching adulthood.We went into the family way and God in all his kindness, blessed us with a baby boy after few years of our marriage. Now,my new born boy had become the centre of all my affection,he grew up to be a very cute child and I started to keep his photo in my wallet.I thought of myself to be the happiest person by just watching my son play and progress. As the years went on by,one by one i lost my parents and then my life partner as well.My son, on reaching his adulthood became engrossed with his career & family life [wife & kids] and started neglecting my presence and requirements.Now the same photo of my son in the wallet was no longer my reason to rejoice but was causing me tremendous amount of misery.
 
So,one of my friend advised me that i had adopted an absolutely wrong approach to Life and this was the cause of my misery.The correct approach would be to keep the picture of GOD in the wallet according to my faith,because only GOD-the Almighty is the source & stream of continuous happiness & contentment.Ever since the realization of this truth,I have started keeping the picture of Lord Krishna in my wallet. On listening to this,the ticket-checker asked the old man that what made him emotional then. The old man replied in a sad voice that I kept running after worldly things, not realizing the eternal truth that only GOD is our permanent companion.It took me almost 60 long years and I sincerely regret the delay caused due to my lack of timely wisdom.If only had i started keeping the picture of Lord Krishna in the wallet since my childhood years,I would not have had to endure so much misery & pain.I would not have had taken a false approach and would correctly have had rested my faith with the permanent one-The Creator who is Supreme,Immortal and Omnipotent.
 
Hence,to avoid misery & suffering, l would sincerely advice that our approach should always be towards the Divine and meditating to be in alignment with the Supreme
 

Foods,Diet and Health…

 

A well balanced and appropriate diet is the most important element of our daily routine.But,to optimize the process of food consumption and then digestion,we need to deeply understand these three factors–of the type of food to be taken,when should it be taken and how ; with which mental state should it be taken into our body. The appropriate type of food should be such, that it may not generate any kind of unwanted stimuli [aggression] to your conscious mind and should be taken while in a pleasant state of mind.Because, if your mind is not calm but agitated due to some reason / some quarrel and you sit down to eat,that food gets transformed into bad & violent thoughts. The food should be consumed very slowly as if doing a sacred ritual and then the food in front of us becomes the devotional offering / gracious gift to be taken in with utmost respect. The activity of having food should be revered while understanding that it is an offering , start having it lovingly along with the most conscious beautiful thoughts.

I also would like to share the example from the current times,whether be it the joint families / nuclear ones,the elders always nag the youngsters; advising them against having junk/fast foods like kachchori,samosa,pizza,burger,sev-mixture etc.They constantly insist that their kids / young ones should be consuming the appropriate food items but the irony is that these elders themselves buy these junk food items from the market to home.We need to start with ourselves and pro-actively change few habits to achieve the slow but sure transformation through the most basic process of consuming food.For changing our habits, we all would have to create a supportive and advantageous environment so that we are not distracted towards wrong habits.

Like in case,if a person from Indore be given a choice between appropriate healthy foods like juicy fruits on one table and on another table he sees kachchori,poha with sev, jalebi,samosa etc.then the person would obviously throw caution/advise to the winds and start munching on the junk foods kept on the second table.This may sound funny, but the saddening part is that such junk foods have slowly replaced our staple foods like roti,sabzi,rice etc. The current generation, instead of having a proper diet, is filling their stomachs with these fast foods like kachchoris for breakfast,bake samosas for lunch and pizzas for dinner.These junk foods may be good in taste,can be had once in a while, but I would not recommend them to be included into our regular diet.Also,the foods we intake should be according to the climatic and temperature conditions we live in. As for Indian environment,the foods should necessarily include wheat,grains,maize,cereals,rice etc. Because,the appropriate diet and calorie intake is mandatory to provide & maintain the requisite energy levels to our body and thereby to our mind. The foods get converted into energy during the digestion process and this energy acts as the fuel for all our bodily & mental mechanisms.The lack of this very energy causes our mental capacities to diminish,we start feeling exhausted and irritated over small matters, thus hampering our personal relationships. Therefore,eating a variety of foods helps maintain a healthy and interesting diet which provides a range of different nutrients to the body. Eating a variety of foods promotes good health and can help reduce the risk of diseases as well. 

Hence,it is rightly said that “A healthy Mind can only stay in a healthy Body” and the food we consume can either build us or ruin us.  

Communication skills for Married Couples…

 

“The difference between a happy and an unhappy marriage lies in communication skills “

The relationship between the husband and wife is such that after a while, they start taking each other for granted by default.The husband starts thinking that the entire fault lies with his wife and the wife starts believing that her husband is in the wrong. Now, to answer the question that why all communication skills tend to fail between couples in marriage, I would like to tell you a short story to further elaborate on the reason.
 
Once, there was a married couple and they were very much like any other average couple going through their lives.They had their share of misunderstandings,small fights and during these times,the husband came to conclude that his wife had become short of hearing. Now this development worried the husband considerably and he went to his doctor friend to find a suitable cure to the problem.The husband mentioned to the doctor friend that his wife was facing issues / difficulty in hearing and wanted to know more about the hearing aids[hearing enabling instruments] that were available nowadays.The doctor suggested that, since the instruments are frequency based & distance dependent while wearing,hence the friend would have to diagnose the exact problem of the man’s wife. The husband curiously asked as to what was the exact process to diagnose the hearing difficulty level and distance factor to which the doctor friend advised the husband to speak to his wife by changing his positions, starting from farther away and repeating the statement by reducing the distance from his wife. Once,that you are able to analyze the exact distance from which your wife is unable to hear your voice,we will be able to finalize on the hearing aid accordingly. 
 
Understanding this,the husband reached home and started to check his wife’s [who was then cooking in the kitchen] hearing strength by standing in the garden of their house and asking her that what was she cooking today for dinner.Since,he could not get back an answer at 25 feet[from garden],he realized that he should ask her again the same question from a nearer distance[from hall].But again on not finding a response from 15 feet,he sadly goes nearer around their bedroom at 7 feet and repeats his question that what was there for dinner.Finally,he walks into the kitchen and standing near his wife asks the same question a fourth time that what was she cooking for dinner. To this his wife retorts back angrily that “Have you gone deaf ? I have already replied to you 4 times that i was preparing Khichdi tonight.” Thus,the husband comes to realize that it was he himself who was short of hearing & not his wife and this is the exact predicament that the married couples face in every day life.
 
Now to summarize the concern,it would not be wrong of me to mention here that the husband thinks his wife to be deaf;the wife in turn thinks of her husband as deaf and the solution is left to testing for finding who is at fault.Communication skills for couples is definitely one of the important chapters of life that each partner needs to memorize once they sign the papers and say ‘I do’ to each other.
 
The sad truth is that we as a species, over the time have lost the art of LISTENING which is the base on which any successful communication stands among married individuals.Our conscious minds are in a state of continuous turmoil.We, instead of listening to what is being said,are often restless with our own set of Q&A’s in our minds and fail to understand as we have not left any space for listening. I would like to emphasize here that listening properly to understand with a calm mind is the mandatory element for any successful relationship, especially marriage. We should train our minds to be able to stay calm & serene -creating a space for listening and effective communication.Thus, I would reiterate that Listening has been and remains for posterity–the rock solid foundation on which any communication and relationship can be built to last for a lifetime…

Suicides-Alarming trend among the Youth today…

Suicide is a serious public health problem that affects many young people.Deaths from youth suicide are only part of the problem.Though many suicidal teens appear depressed or downcast, others hide their problems underneath a disguise of excess energy. Girls generally attempt suicide more often than boys, but boys are about 4 times more likely to die from the suicide attempt. This is because the methods that boys choose – often using firearms or hanging – are more lethal than those chosen by girls, namely drug overdoses or cutting themselves.More young people survive suicide attempts than actually die.Suicide among teens and young adults has gone up multi-fold and the risk factors include: family history of suicide; history of depression, other mental health problems, easy access to lethal means; alcohol and drug abuse; exposure to previous suicidal behavior by others; and residential mobility that might lessen opportunities for developing healthy social connections and supports.

With respect to having suicidal tendencies among the youth,I have never been of the opinion that taking one’s life is the solution to any problem.

 Now to present my view on the above plot, I would like to mention that we think of running / moving away from only those places where we are sure that we are not loved;we may be in acute emotional / physical pain and may be feeling unwanted / neglected.With my personal experience, I would mention that the outside world is very unpleasant & frightening.The parents who give us birth and rear us,even though our mother may scold us;our father may be a strict disciplinarian and our siblings may fight with us on silly things during our growing up years, but our home is where we belong. Home is our comfort zone and it is the most beautiful place to be on the entire planet.

There are obvious signs that an adolescent may be suicidal which include low self-esteem and self-deprecating remarks. Some teens come right out and talk or write about their suicidal thoughts – this should be taken seriously, and not ignored with the hope that it’s a passing phase. Any previous attempts at suicide are loud and clear cries for help, which demand responses before it’s too late.

Coming back to answer the question as to why suicidal tendencies abound in the youth of today and this I must admit is absolutely tragic and unnerving. I would like to share a real-life incident when one of my acquaintance brought his daughter-an engineering 1st year student to me. After sharing the initial pleasantries, on the insistence of her father;the girl pulled up her sleeves showing me multiple blade inflicted cuts around her right hand wrist. She replied to me in the affirmative that yes,it was she who had inflicted herself with a blade. The girl seemed very adamant, spoke stubbornly and felt no remorse whatsoever over her such actions. I on my part just asked the girl that why could she not find the correct vein in the first few attempts.Then I guided her finger to the exact nerve[green colored] on the wrist that may help her, if cut properly to successfully commit suicide in her next attempt. This reaction of mine surely startled the girl and she gave me a blanked out look as if caught off-guard.I, then said to her that with my experience,it seemed that her problem may be of failed relationships to which she tried to deny vehemently as she was with her parent. Understanding this,I tried to put the point differently that, whatever may have been your circumstances,if you shirk,run away by committing suicide,in your rebirth in another life,you would be presented with the same turn of events from where you had taken the escape route.

To further elaborate on this fact, I would also like to share a small story from Mahabharata where Arjun puts up a question to Lord Krishna as to “What is the Secret of LIFE ?” To this Lord Krishna replied very appealingly that- “Arjun,if you start writing a letter and go to sleep without completing it,would you on waking up, start writing the letter from the beginning again?” In his reply,Arjun stated in the negative and said that he would start writing the letter from where he had left it incomplete.Then Lord Krishna said that–“our lives,rebirth and afterlife plays out in the same way. Hence,when we try to escape from our current set of circumstances by committing suicide,then we are made to take birth in our after life and start our journey from the very same turn of events which we had tried not to face in our previous life.”

 I then asked the girl that say for instance, what would be her reaction if her mobile handset happens to get damaged / crushed under a heavy moving vehicle. She replied that she would pick that instrument,take out the sim and if the sim is found intact,would place that sim in another working mobile and would start using the same.To this reply, I asked her–since the sim and number would remain the same as earlier,then the same calls would keep coming and pestering her,meaning that the situations would remain unchanged.This detailed explanation made the girl realize her multiple blunders and then she vowed never ever to even think of attempting suicide. 

To conclude, I would like to mention that committing suicide / running away without facing the situation is cowardly because the same chain of events would come back to haunt us in our afterlife as well. 
This LIFE is the most beautiful gift given to us by our CREATOR ,we should live it to the fullest with enthusiasm and courage to bounce back from every failure.

Words can either Make or Break You !!!

 

Words are one of the vital instruments that people use to communicate.We all know how important words can be to an individual. The “right” words can mean the difference between being misunderstood or being clear in your communications.The words you write or speak to others can leave a huge impact and create a lasting memory-either good or bad–so it is of utmost importance to choose them wisely. Words can make or break a relationship and your choice of words and the way you express yourself can build up or destroy your career. 
 
To explain further, I would like to share two examples to validate the importance. First instance that comes up in my mind is that of the battle of Mahabharata. We all know that the entire battle was fought just because of the careless,thoughtless and sarcastic comment of a female that terribly bruised a male’s ego. Once,while visiting the palace of the Pandavas,Duryodhan unknowingly fell down / hit a door shaped wall due to the architectural marvel that the palace was and Draupadii lost no time in commenting smugly that the son of a blind man has acted blind as well. Now this comment went on to pain Duryodhan so much that this small incident became the premise for the entire battle & blood shed of Mahabharata. So,it is correctly said that words can make as well as break a human.
 
In an another instance,the teacher of a student one day called upon him ; gave him a hand written letter inside an envelope asking him to deliver this message only to his mother at home and that the student should not read it.On reaching his home,the student went & delivered the envelope to his mother.He asked her to read out and share the report with him as well. The mother read out the letter saying that the school administration and his teacher has apologized & advised her to either change the school / arrange to have her son tutored at home. Because, they have found that her son was way too genius / intelligent and the school did not have the competent teachers to address his talent / innumerable questions.The mother then with the agreement of her son arranged for home tutors. A few years later, her son went on to become one of the brightest minds of his times and created the commercially practical incandescent light bulb.The name of this student was Thomas Alva Edison and if not for him,we would still be living & working with candle light. Then,in the later part of his age during the cleaning of his house one day, Thomas Alva Edison chanced upon the same letter from his teacher kept by his mother in a box in the basement of their house. On reading it out, the teacher had clearly mentioned instead that Thomas Alva Edison was a difficult child,with acute learning disability and there were zero chances of him reaching any position in life.Hence,kindly pull him out of our school as he is a bad influence on his class-mates. But, just because of the words his mother chose to use and motivate her son,this very difficult child,with acute learning disability went on to become one of the pioneering inventors of the world.
 
This then, my friends, goes on to demonstrate the immense power of WORDS…

Experiencing the Existence of GOD…

 

The existence of GOD has been a matter of emphatic debates in the philosophy of religion and popular culture for the last many centuries.A wide variety of arguments for and against the existence oGod have been put forth by many learned individuals,atheists,philosophers and thinkers. I would like to share with you my point of view on this subject and would like to explain the same with a small story.
 
To begin with,on a lighter vein,would mention and everyone knows that barber shops and paan shops are the epicenters of overflowing knowledge because of the varied clientele visiting them.Every male frequents them at regular intervals and all kinds of discussions, be it spiritual,educational,religious or political are carried out with a lot of gusto. The ladies, not to be left out, participate in such debates when at beauty parlours. Men visit the barber shops to get entertained as well and spend a lot of time while the barber is attending to their mane and facial hair.
 
Now,one day, a client was sitting in the chair at the Barber shop while his hair and beard were being trimmed. The Barber during one such debates on spirituality- happened to mention that he was convinced with the fact that there is NO existence of GOD or any SUPERPOWER and could not find any logic supporting this as well. To this,the person sitting in the chair replied with conviction that YES, i am of the firm belief that GOD surely exists.
The Barber replied back providing his arguments to support the statement that if GOD really existed,then why in this world was there a lot of suffering,why would GOD not look after the orphans,beggars,homeless people and poverty-stricken masses of the world. The Barber was very adamant with his opinion and tried to give further reasons as to why he was very confident of the statement that there is NO existence of GOD. Now the person in the chair was rendered speechless, but he left the shop as his mane and beard had been catered to.
 
Even though,the person had not debated further on the topic with the Barber but he wanted to make sure that the Barber would have to be convinced with a befitting live example on the existence of GOD because only then he would be able to contradict the logic given by the Barber. So,as he was walking back towards his home,he could see a man coming at a distance and as the man came nearer,this person could see that the man was very shabby with long,dirty unkempt hair and beard. The man forcibly took this person by the hand and went back to the Barber shop. On reaching the Barber shop,the man said to the Barber that you can see the shabby unkempt hair and beard this person is carrying. The Barber agreed that the person actually was in a shoddy state with long ,scruffy hair and a dirty beard as well. To this, the man said to the Barber that the reason of his shabby look is because this person does NOT believe in the existence of Barbers.The person is of the opinion that there are no Barbers in this world. This statement of the man made the Barber retort back that Barbers do exist and people need to search/seek for him to find him.Even if you shout for me in the streets, only then can i reply back in the affirmative that i am available to cater to your requirements.Only if people look out / search for /ask for me then only can i be found. The man replied that this exactly my friend is the answer to your doubting the existence of GOD.
 
Hence,I would like to conclude here by saying that – Seek and you shall Find,Ask for and you shall Receive,Place your concerns/troubles with GOD and he shall address each one of them in his time.The only logic that explains the existence of GOD is our unfaltering FAITH[without doubts] and our belief that GOD will be with us as our Guide whenever we sincerely seek for HIM.